Gotta job 9 to 5 Everyday 40 hours yeah your man getting paid Don’t take my first break till mid-morning Gotta bounce nature calls no warning Little breaks gotta take em to the max Four walls in the stall I relax Day’s long got a lot on my mind Take a breath drop my pants and unwind (with some) Tinder on the Toilet Tinder on the Toilet Cuz I Swipe Swipe Swipe Then I Wipe Wipe Wipe C’mon bro, just leave your man alone Don’t care how much bacteria is on my phone Don’t try and tell me this is something you ain’t done Playing Cupid while you making number one And I know when to use it just right Drop it down, use my only Super like This my time to myself don’t spoil it Stress fades when I tinder on the toilet Tinder on the Toilet Tinder on the Toilet Swipe Swipe Swipe And Then I Wipe Wipe Wipe I know what you’re thinkin’ ladies, That is unhygienic, wait up, How’s he tryna do a twosie While also tryna set a date up, Listen while we break it down, we’re workin’ in a system This process is so flawless just don’t mix up hand positions One hand’s for the romance and the other for the business I’m just trying to take a shit and find myself a mistress Tinder on the Toilet Tinder on the Toilet Swipe Swipe Swipe And Then I Wipe Wipe Wipe Tinder on the Toilet Tinder on the Toilet Swipe Swipe Swipe And Then I Wipe Wipe Wipe

This one goes out To everybody that’s riding dirty You know who you are Yeah You’re riding and you’re also dirty at the same time I repair bikes for a living Just check out my sick bench Like I’m pre crazy Mel Gibson What women want is my wrench I have folders of gears I’ve got pictures in piles On this Android alone I’ve got six pedal files My clothes are aerodynamic I got that fresh windbreaker on There’s no mistaking today My ride hum, humming along That odor I didn’t plan it It’s called biker’s funk Outlined in my spandex You can see my junk Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack I’m fit as fuck motherfucker so quit talking your smack I get myself a saddle Every year for Christmas My ride is faster than yours In short to medium distance My average speed is sick I’m just out for the thrill I’m talking breaking speed limits Unless I hit a hill Heh. Hills, Hills are hard. You ever, ever try try to go up like a super big hill? So sweaty. So sweaty. Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack I’m fit as fuck motherfucker so quit talking your smack My ass boobs is huge Them bum titties is tight Upside down hairy cleavage But it looks so right Got Freddie Kruger ass Gonna wake you up in the night I got Big Mac buns You know you want a bite Rhonda Rousey glutes Knock, knock you out like a light I got that Shyamalan booty Make you say Mmmm Night. Because… Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack I’m fit as fuck motherfucker so quit talking your smack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack Every time I’m biking you can see my ass crack I’m fit as fuck motherfucker so quit talking your smack

I wake up with a jump, I’m a man of routine Start my days the same way, a well-oiled machine Hop to the coffee shop, to grab my beans My order is the same, consistently But what my barista said next, it made me crazy It’s none of your business - I make choices safely You think you’ve got me pegged, just an average joe When you say “Hello again! the usual to-go?” YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME You’re my barista and not my friend, muchacho YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME Matter of fact- I’ll have a LARGE macchiato Look in the mirror, see my hair is wilin’ It’s been almost 5 weeks, so I head to my stylist’ My work is cut out, decisions aren’t hard Take my riches, snag my business with that loyalty card Matter of fact so many stamps that my next cut is free Decisions are quick when made predictably But my barber made it harder, trying to KNOW MY LIFE “Thin it out w/ a trim, #4 on the sides?” YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME I’m a wild an crazy guy YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME Gimme a #3 on the sides I need something, to put my mind at ease/ Gnarly barley whiskey tipsy for that sweet release/ Go to the neighborhood pub, my regular haunt Why these people all thinkin’ that they know what I want? In the door, it’s quiet as I slide on the stool Can’t take no more, I’ll riot, feel my rage start to cool I’m about to say my order, when god is my witness Bartender strolls up says “You’re the guy who likes Guinness!” YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME Uh- uh Not this shit again! YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME Give me a pitcher of cosmopolitan! I’m 3 sheets to the wind, I’m totally smashed I leave the pub and then I take the usual path get home somehow, miraculously And I see my dog judging, starin’ back at me (bark bark) YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME We’ve never even had a conversation YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME What would a dog know about my situation? I know you much better than you realize I can’t unview the views of you that I’ve seen with these eyes Takin’ charge on walks in the park cause I know you’re a loner, Barkin’ at the larger dogs so you can chat up their owners When I open the door all crazy and squirrely It’s cause I know you’re havin’ sex and you’re about to bust early Drunk textin’ your ex, don’t you DARE press send You think I don’t know you, (ruh) I’m your best friend What!? Oh…. Oh my god. Teddy, I had no idea. You’re there for me. You DO know me. You’re such a good boy. YOU DON’T KNOW ME YOU DON’T KNOW ME I’m a bitch, Andrew, not your good boy YOU Don’t KNOW ME

Namaste Motherfuckers Call me yogi not the bear Everyday I be posing In my Underwear It's not fair is the the chorus Everyone be repeatin Cuz with my sick Bod There's just no competing And that sweat drippy drops Between my thighs Pelvic muscles for dayz But that's no surprise Why you doing now boo? Let's grab some vitamin water. I like my girls hot And my studio hotter We doin Yoga We bending We flexible as shit No pretending Get Lo Get High Get Bent Get Lo Get High Get Bent I saw this fly honey When I was inverted That blood rush to my head Make a Yogi perverted Does your downward Dog Dig my upward cat I know you do yoga So you'll never get fat But it did not work out Tween that hottie me me I guess we didn't align spiritually With clothing this tight I'm bound to get laid When life gives you lemons You make lululemonade! We doin Yoga We bending We flexible as shit No pretending Get Lo Get High Get Bent Get Lo Get High Get Bent Yoga Pants CHECK Yoga Top CHECK Yoga Mat CHECK Water Bottle CHECK Yoga Block CHECK Yoga Tunes Check Whole team CHECK Self esteem... We doin Yoga We bending We flexible as shit No pretending Get Lo Get High Get Bent Get Lo Get High Get Bent

Welcome everybody to this brand new dance, Anyone can do it if you give it a chance It’s called the no dance dance and it’s meant for you If real dance is too hard, here’s what you gotta do Do the no dance dance put one hand in the air Do the no dance dance, just leave it there Do the no dance dance, sway from side to side Do the no dance dance, and let it ride. Everybody’s saying that you can’t move to beat, Neither can we, so we invented this cheat. Now it’s time to change it up for a brand new verse It’s the same as before cept we do it in reverse. Do the no dance dance, sway from side to side Do the no dance dance, and let it ride. Do the no dance dance put one hand in the air Do the no dance dance, just leave it there I’m in the club it’s hot: it feels like the Sahara I need a man who can move like Michael Cera Don’t have to be a boss but ya can’t be a bystander So come on now and raise that hand and meet my lower standard Do the no dance dance, is this shit workin? Do the no dance dance, my arm is hurtin Do the no dance dance, see a girl at the bar Do the no dance dance, bail and head to your car Do the no dance dance, drive home alone Do the no dance dance, get your mom on the phone Do the no dance dance, light a cigarillo Do the no dance dance, cry in your pillow.

All I eat is Sauerkraut All I eat, All I eat All I eat is Sauerkraut All I eat, All I eat All I eat is Sauerkraut All I eat, All I eat All I eat is Sauerkraut All I eat, All I eat Ya you know that shit delicious Not to mention nutritious Literally the only item On my Christmas wish list I’ll eat that shit for breakfast Or at any hour So long as it’s kraut And that kraut is sour When I roll out the club All I want is some street meet What topping do I prefer Not like that shits a mystery Hunnies clocking my choices Like your man is demented I like my meat in a tube And my cabbage fermented If you fuck with the Sauer put your hands in the air And wave those fucking jars like you just don’t care If you fuck with the Sauer put your hands in the air And wave those fucking jars like you just don’t care Hangover: Try Sauerkraut Upset Tummy: Try Sauerkraut Broken Heart: Try Sauerkraut Arthritis: Sauerkraut doesn’t help Best Sauerkrat Brand? Hengstenberg! Hungry? Grab some Hengstenberg! I got lots. Ya Hengstenberg! Can’t spell Sauerkraut without Hengstenberg! If you fuck with the Sauer put your hands in the air And wave that Hengstenberg like you just don’t care If you fuck with the Sauer put your hands in the air And wave those fucking jars like you just don’t care Where my cabbage heads at Where my cabbage heads at Where my cabbage heads at Kim Chi, is also delightful If you fuck with the Sauer put your hands in the air And wave that Hengstenberg like you just don’t care If you fuck with the Sauer put your hands in the air And wave that Hengstenberg like you just don’t care When I say Sauer you say kraut Sauer/kraut Sauer/kraut When I say Hengsten you say berg Hengsten/berg Hengsten/berg All I eat is Sauerkraut All I eat, All I eat All I eat is Sauerkraut All I eat, All I eat All I eat is Sauerkraut All I eat, All I eat All I eat is Sauerkraut All I eat, All I eat