We’re stuck in the middle of a global crisis
But things aren't so bad cuz you're the nicest
When we're together I feel full elation
We’ll weather out these days in a cool staycation
Face adversity like we’re the Clintons
I’d still find you sexy with flu like symptoms
Wanna isolate with you, you're the one I'd pick
During any great plague, even bubonic

Gonna keep our love alive in the quarantine
This couple’s gonna thrive in the quarantine
No contact sex, if you know what I mean
Gonna keep our love alive in the quarantine

Things are better than not, two weeks in
The only fever we got is a little cabin
Don’t even mind I got laid off from work
More time for self-care Your boss was a jerk
Yoga every morning love to see you perspire
Finally get to binge West Wing and The Wire
More rosé for the lovely demoiselle?
It’s almost noon so what the hell!

Everything is fine in the quarantine
Spending quality time in the quarantine
Getting trashy day drunk if you know what I mean
Everything is fine in the quarantine

Girl I wanna feel you next to me
But we’re head to toe in PPE
And you know I miss this, want a quick kiss
Gotta keep six feet (that’s a hockey stick )
Wanna touch up on your breasts
Go and get the gloves they’re latex
Separate rooms, invite me on zoom
That’s why Jesus invented cybersex

I don’t get out of bed till one PM
Cheetos and chili for breakfast again
When did I shower, this week or last?
Used to smell like flowers now you smell like ass
Surprise, surprise someone's playing Xbox
For the last ten days you’ve worn the same socks
I'm gonna have a meltdown if you drank my wine
We might show up on next season's Dateline

Hanging on by a thread in the quarantine
Bake some more fucking bread in the quarantine
File for divorce, with a full legal team
Gonna split up our assets in the quarantine

Bro I won the pool. They broke up.